Introduction

If you have stumbled on this website via Google, chances are you are someone or knows someone who is suffering from problems during intercourse. As a woman, we know how frustrating it can be and how it can take a toll on your relationships. We understand that a lot is not said or discussed about this surprisingly common problem because many women feel uncomfortable talking about it. That is why I have decided to set up this website for many women out there who need help but do not know how to reach out.

Vaginismus is a vaginal tightening causing discomfort or pain during intimacy. It often results in complete inability to have intercourse. The woman suffering from vaginismus is not responsible for this condition as it is caused by involuntary pelvic muscle contraction leading to this vaginal tightening.

Vaginismus easily becomes a vicious cycle such that, when a woman's muscles contract, it causes pain during intercourse. This pain gets registered in her mind somewhere and it is most likely through the memory of this pain, that is she unable to have pain free intercourse the next time too. As this cycle repeats itself, she starts associating intercourse and intimacy with pain and she goes deeper and deeper into this condition. 

That all being said, do not despair. As hard as it seems, there is a very easy and step by step approach to curing vaginismus which we will discuss on this website. Give yourself a little time and very soon you will be able to overcome this problem. 

Take a look at the following links to get started:
What is Vaginismus 
What Causes Vaginismus 

Putting Your Kegels to Use

You have made it to the fourth step of your fight against vaginismus. Hurray for you! I am happy to tell you that this is THE step you have been working towards for so long. This is the step for which we have been preparing for in the previous steps.

In case you need to go back and revisit the previous preparatory steps, here are quick links:
Step 1: Finding Cause Of Your Vaginismus
Step 2: Know Your Anatomy
Step 3: Controlling PC Muscles

Now that you are ready, let's begin which the most exciting phase of your recovery journey.

The best way to accomplish this step is to involve your partner with you. Discuss this step over with them before you attempt this step. If you are a partner of someone suffering from vaginismus and don't know how to help, see the article Helping a Partner With Vaginismus.

Follow this simple step:
When your partner attempts penetration, pretend that you are practising your kegel in such a way that as he prepares for penetration, tighten your muscles, and as soon as he attempts penetration, loosen your PC muscles.
Do not lose heart if it doesn't work the first time. The most important thing is you keep a positive attitude and stay relaxed. Relaxation is the key to solving this issue. Take deep breaths and try again, either in the same session or another session. 

This seemingly difficult step is in fact very easy. All the previous steps we went through were a psychological preparation for this step.

• By knowing our anatomy, it helped us to know that sex will not hurt. Our bodies are made for it and it is something very natural.
• By doing kegels, we applied the knowledge of our anatomy to something physical; we came to know that we can in fact control our bodies. We are no more slaves to our bodies which disappoint us.
• By discussing all our progress with our partners, we build trust with them and we trust that they won't hurt us by anything they do. Sex is a way of expressing their love for us and it will NOT hurt. It will only hurt when we try to deny ourselves that connection and that love.

Once we are able to do this, there is no going back (hopefully!) Do not let your old fear of pain haunt you. Don't look back! You may need to repeat this activity a number of times before you begin to feel comfortable and natural with it, but trust me, it will happen. You will get comfortable and it will come as naturally to you as it seems for all other couples.

At the end of it, don't forget to thank your partner for the patience he has shown towards you. He has full share in your accomplishment of overcoming this fear.